Excuse Me, You Seem To Have a Giant Stick Up Your Ass
Is there a nice way to tell someone that? Can I just do the mean way? I am seriously sick of people who have sticks up their asses and expect me to modify my behavior as a result. I cannot take 1 more minute of it. But I will. Fucking fuckers.

I am also sick of people who think that their system problem should be at the top of my list. Bugger. Off. We have a process and we all have to use it.

Oh, and the woman I was supposed to be seeing for therapy but I quit because I didn't feel $70 worth of better? Dying. So I'm glad I dropped out. I feel awful for her. Her poor daughter. Her poor husband. Man, God's Plan sucks.

I am drinking the haterade.
- posted by Anna Trueblood @ 10:16 PM 0 comments

 
Next Blog
If you want to get a glimpse of how much utter nonsense is circulating in cyberspace, you can get a taste right here on blogspot. All you have to do is go up in the upper right corner and click Next Blog. Going by my experience over the last week, out of 100 clicks you will get 50 blogs that are just spam feeds, 30 that are in a language you don't know, 5 that haven't been updated in more than 60 days, 5 that are esoteric fanatics for anime, some band, or some politico, 4teenagers, 2 sluts, 2 religious types, 1 boring rambler and one genuinely good writer. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am the boring rambler.

I have been feeling losery lately. I'm so tired. So very tired. I feel like there's no God, or no Plan, or that the Plan sucks, or that God is like a parent with favorites and other people have it better and I get all my pleas ignored. I feel like I have spent the last 18 months doing everything I'm supposed to and what I have to show for it is nothing of my own. I get joy from my kids, but they belong to themselves and there is no joy in me. I feel like a dried out husk. If one more person takes and no more people give, how will I ever be replenished? I am fading, vanishing, becoming a hollow, brittle soccer mom.

The kids are being extra trying this week. After I heaped praise upon them last week! Ungrateful little wretches! Tantrums. Oh dear GOD, the tantrums. This week, Monkey and Maus started fighting. With Each Other. What the hell? I am NOT listening to them fight for 18 years. And whenever one of them is difficult, one of my parents says it's payback for the child I was. Nice. I guess they never loved me or something or I wwas a colossal pain in the ass, what with not being a faithful Catholic or a conservative or having the kind of direction they had.

The spouse is smoking and doing other things to annoy me. It's not his fault, but honestly, if I never have sex again, it feels like it would be too soon. And if he did some dishes, it would help. I wish he had the kind of job that allowed for planning and routine. I'm so sick of the chaos. Plus, he got fucking FLEAS at work. What the hell is wrong with his boss that he won't pony up for an exterminator?

I feel like everything I do is work, housework, or childwork. And even if I got a break I have not a fucking clue what I would do. Nothing sounds good. Nothing sounds fun. I have a serious case of anhedonia.

Why haven't they called? Why? Why? I applied for a job in the IT department and though the developers I work with now swear that I'm the bee's knees, they haven't called. Are they just using me to close out Remedy tickets? Am I a scam? Will I get a date to Nerd Prom? I don't so much want that job as I do want something different. I have gotten embroiled in a couple of longterm projects and if I go to a different segment of the business, I will be free! FREE! Plus, more money. The main task of that job is almost identical to one of my main tasks now. I would be losing a couple of tasks I hate and my favorite task of all.

Gah. I just feel like something under a movie theater seat.
- posted by Anna Trueblood @ 9:35 PM 1 comments

 
About Monkey
I have a great kid. A hella great kid. I also have a kid who is in a tough phase. The testing phase, the exploring his power phase. So we have whining and tantrums and outbursts. I generally respond swiftly and fiercely to outbursts and tantrums. J often thinks it's too much so there has been conflict about that. And by conflict I mean long annoying sometimes loud discussions between J and I while Monkey continues being in the tough phase. How long is this phase anyway? Eesh. Suffice it to say, our limit setting is a bit lax and I may be overreacting to overcompensate.

Still, Monkus Aurelius is a great kid. He has a good imagination-- we have Dab, the imaginary dog and Jacob, his imaginary buddy. He plays at cooking and while his ingredient list is dubious, his enthusiasm is a source of amusement and joy.

And he has hobbies! Granted, these are mostly hobbies he's picked up from us and from our families. He likes RC planes and trucks like J. They go to the hobby store and run trucks on the outdoor track there. In the winter, they fly on the flight simulator. Monkey's not ready for real RC flying yet.

J's dad has gotten him into fishing. He has a Scooby pole and tackle box. His fishing net is Spidey though. He isn't very patient, but he has the jargon down. They had a fun-filled four day fishing trip out in SmallTown NE about a month ago. I really missed my guys!

I've gotten him into crafts and cooking. He has a couple of little preschooler catchphrases that are pretty cute. Milk and eggs go in the fridgeforlater. Lawry's seasoned salt is fire salt. That one took me a while to figure out. I'm not too swift sometimes. We make things that he can stir-- muffins are a big hit.

My dad has gotten him to be interested in gardening and golf. He has a tomato in Grandpa's garden and tells me we are going to squeeze it to make juice in a glass. He also has told me he can't eat tomatoes-- they will make him sick. Monkey proclaims this with a dramatic belly clutch.

I can see that we're going to stay VERY busy just keeping up with Monkey.

I really enjoy talking to Monkey. He's not very good at telling jokes but his lame jokes make me laugh harder than other people's lame jokes and even the good ones sometimes. He makes all stories a little longer plus he uses really endearing gestures. I wish I had a video clip of him telling how married people kiss-- the gesture is priceless.
- posted by Anna Trueblood @ 9:13 AM 0 comments